My Freedom Is Within My Grasp

So, as some of you know, I've been trying to lose some weight. Unsuccessfully. In fact, I've gained more, and weigh more than I ever have in my entire life so far. Its depressing, I've felt trapped in this body of mine, my ribs the bars on my cage, locking my soul inside my heart, enslaved to culinary deliciousness.

I've tried eating healthy, but I've discovered that I'm not sure what healthy is anymore. So then I tried eating less. But that only make me hungrier.

I finally selected the South Beach Diet. I officially started Phase 1 on Tuesday. If you don't know anything about the South Beach Diet, let me give you a little synopsis:

The South Beach Diet has three phases.

Phase 1:

Known as the "clean" phase. It lasts no longer than 2-3 weeks, and you are supposed to experience significant weight loss. Basically, you cut out all starchy carbs, all sugar including natural sugars like in fruit, and fat. You are allowed to eat low-fat to no fat milk or cheese, and you can drink all the tea and coffee you want. Your basic foods are raw vegetables, and lean meats. You can also eat all the seafood you want. Use of whole eggs is not limited.

You actually have a lot to work with if you're creative. The Phase 1 allowed foods list is pretty lengthy, its just putting those together and making something delicious. I got a SBD cookbook from the library that has recipes for each Phase and helpful tips and instructions as well as success stories.

Phase 2:

You start to slowly add in some carbohydrates and fruits. Eating is now less boring and more enjoyable.

Phase 3:

Basically, you continue phase two, and phase 3 just adds in some things to keep your weight under control and to develop a healthy lifestyle.


Right now I'm in Phase 1, and have been since Tuesday, October 12. Let me be the first to burst your bubble and not sugar coat it for you: Phase 1 sucks. A lot.

I eat about 4 hard boiled eggs a day, and my lovely mother has been kind enough to boil them for me, as well as make a SBD grocery list and fill the fridge with sugar free jell-O and pickles.

My joys in life right now are sugar free fudgesicles (which are surprisingly TO DIE FOR, and you find yourself asking with every lick "Is this really on my diet???") and steak. Mm, mm, good.

You may be asking why I choose this form of weight-loss torture. The answer: I was able to witness the results before I even started. My friend Traci, a fellow Barnes & Noble bookseller, and I worked together on the Friday before my adoption of the SBD. I noticed that she look significantly skinnier since the last time I'd seen her.

So I asked "Traci, did you lose weight?"

And of course she replied "Yeah, 10 pounds in two weeks."

My response: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?! TELL ME YOUR SECRET!!!!!!"

Traci has a lot of healthy problems which is one reason why she's on the SBD. She can't really exercise because she has lupus. So I thought in my head "If I tried this diet, and exercised, I could lose even more than Traci in 2 weeks."

So, I talked it over with my mum on Monday, and then started Tuesday.

I got extremely frustrated with myself because last night I slipped up. I went to a friend's party and had a few drinks, without even thinking how they probably had sugar in them. I kicked myself about it all night, dreamt about food, and woke up sad and sure I'd completely screwed up all my work.

I moped in bed until about 3pm, until I was so hungry that I had to get up, even though I didn't think I deserved to eat and had decided to I was going to throw this diet in the trash and have a huge bowl of MultiGrain Cheerios with 2% milk this morning. I stormed downstairs in my pajamas into my parents bedroom, grabbed my mom's scale off their backroom floor, and stomped into the entry way where I placed the scale gently on the floor (although what I really wanted to do was slam it down, but it cost my mom a load of money so I resisted). Stripping off my heavy sweatshirt, I mounted the scale in my Pink! striped flannel pajama pants and lacy pink tank top. Clenching my fist and squeezing my eyes shut I said to myself "If I haven't lost at least 3 pounds, I'm done with this."

I pried one eye open and looked down at the scale. I opened the other eye. I squinted.

No way.

I stepped off and back on the scale, sure that I must have broken it or something.

The scale read that I had lost exactly 7 pounds.

SEVEN.

That's right. From Tuesday, October 12th, to Sunday October 17th, 5 DAYS, I had lost 7 POUNDS.

I don't care if it was water weight. I wouldn't believe it if anyone told me that anyway. I've been guzzling 1-2 liters of fizzy water a day.

I resisted the urge to run out of our house and into the street, screaming and jumping up and down like I'd won the lottery as I called up my mom and told her the news.

So. I can feel the bonds of obesity slowly loosening their grip on me as I continue to struggle to break free.

And I will be free.