Did It Hurt When You Fell from Heaven?

So I decided to Google myself. Much to my relief, not that I have anything to hide, not a lot came up. Some outdated websites and memberships, which I've been working to delete as I don't use them anymore and they are outdated.

One of the more entertaining things I found was my old OkCupid profile, a free dating website that I signed up for when some college friends of mine were doing a social experiment and asked a large group of people to join and take some of the provided surveys. I created the profile and never took it down. Before deleting, I decided to review the profile I'd written and go through some of the old messages and found both hilarious and shocking greetings. I thought I would share them with you.

First, a few excerpts from the profile I wrote (we were asked to fill out honest profiles for the sake of the experiment):

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Why things are why they are, why people do what they do. Artsy stuff. Music. Expression. The meanings behind words. The fire that lights the passion of life in others, what keeps them going everyday. God, and the creation of the world, how everything is so intricately connected. Wondering how it all works. What is my purpose, what am I meant to do. How can I best describe myself through words and music in a way that will reach out and touch others.

Nice! I still think about these things, and was rather impressed with the articulate and intellectual depth of my younger self.

You should message me if

I'm looking for someone who is equally passionate about something, driven, who knows what they want, and are pretty independent. He should have his own goals and dreams and a general plan that he's executing for where he wants to go in life. I like some time and space to myself every now and then, so its great if the man can handle being on his own, and has some friends he spends time with. I want someone who is active and likes to get out and do things, not just sit around. I enjoy a night in, and just relaxing, but there needs to be balance. I love exploring cultures, trying out new things, and traveling so it would be nice if someone was equally as active and could show me a thing or two. I'm apart of a lot of social groups, so someone who can meet people, converse easily and enjoys going out would be ideal. He should be knowledgeable about what's going on in the world and have a good sense of humor. I'm headstrong and a natural born leader, I have a dominate personality and sometimes I can be overpowering. This isn't meant to come across as discriminatory or harsh, I've just been through a lot and know what I want. :) I need someone who can be my equal, who can make decisions and take charge, because believe it or not, strong women want strong men because we get sick of driving. Take the wheel, I'll ask for directions.

Fair enough. A few things have changed but not too much. I won't go into details though.
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Now for the comedy. The emails. Yes. These are real. Every last one of them. And apparently the men (and boys) sending them thought that it was worth a try or that these approach tactics would actually work:


WoW! Its About Time!!! Oct 11 - gottime4u2
(note the name. Definitely a charmer. How considerate of him to vocalize his availability and ability to spread himself among multiple partners):

"I Know Milk Does A Body Good, But How Much Have You Been Drinkin!!!

I Seen Your Pics & My Eyes Popped Outa My Head ! I Hope Ur A Nurse Cuz I Need Your Help Putn'em Back In !! "

Same guy:
Dang I Wish U Were Closer!! Oct 18 - gottime4u2
Cuz You Are Absolutely Gorgeous!! & I'd Make U My Wife!!!

This guy doesn't give up, even when I never sent a single response:

Why Do You Have 2 B So Beautiful??? Oct 29 - gottime4u2

I LIKE!!!

Your So Gorgeous! I Want U !!! Nov 9

Thats In The Good Way!!

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"You look a little bit smarter than an ordinary girl OMG, I cant believe I gave you such a compliment. Should I have given you such a nice compliment though? LOL "

A bit? How generous, I'm not sure I deserve such a "compliment". Thanks, asshole.

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Hey I have messed around on this site a little bit and have just been disappointed by the girls playing games so I am going to just come out and ask you a question. At some point in time would it be possibility for you to have sex with me. Please don't get offended I just feel it necessary to be upfront about my intentions. So think it over and let me know.

Did I list sexual solicitations or prostitution opportunities on my profile for what I'm looking for? No. No, I did not. Not to mention, I don't believe this person had a photo. Why, oh why, would you ever think this was a good idea? And why, pray tell, would you think that an attractive woman would have such low self esteem and respect for herself that she would hand out freebies to strangers who asked on a free dating website?
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hey sexy, wat u up to! i'm bored

So you decided to message me. Way to make a girl feel special. Nice opening. Also, I think Grammar & Spelling 101 is in order.
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you are sooooo fucking beautiful:)

Thank you sooooooooo much! Cute, but no thanks.
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Wow, You seem absolutly perfect, no lie. I'd put a ring on it :P How are you?

Beyonce, anyone? Marriage proposal numero duex.
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I like to play guitar, but I don't know a whole lot. I am going to write you a poem right here and now.

I pop off the cap of a soda
like opening a door into a new part of my life
and I take pleasure in the colors of the outside label
a tasty insight into the suprise inside
I take the first sip
it is more delicious than the label proclaims
so sweet, yet in a subtle, gentle way
I taste the many flavors
and wonder how they can be so natural
so genuine
I open my eyes and realize
all the power held inside
the oppurtunity
for new adventure
even if there is some strife
and then it appears to me
sweet as honey
your presence is evervescent
like the carbonation in my new drink
you are like my soda pop

I finished reading your profile and it is like reading about me. I don't know how spontaneous you are, but I think you and I could hit it off big? would you maybe like to go on a date sometime? You seem to be worth every effort I can give. I hope you like my poem for you.

Cute again. This is probably the most genuine and purest effort of them all.
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Hi. Oct 11

You're cute.

Okay bye.

Short, to the point. No need for reply.

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Hello Oct 18

Hi Cassie, you have a very sweet, curious, yet sexy look about you. Are you interested in older men? If not I understand. Thanks

Normally this would be fine, I have dated a fair share of older men, (this man was in his 70s, which as this was about two years ago, was far and beyond my limit), but it was the messages from him that followed that were less pure in their intent. Describing Lolita situations and fantasies and a desire to pursue them with me if I were interested, stating he was a rich man, able to give a young lady all she could want including trips to Europe, romantic evenings in his chateau and rides on his yacht... that may be reason enough for some, but I require more than elaborate material things and articulate compliments about my Lolita resemblence. Respectfully decline.
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I probably have allready asked you If you are interested in me but I really want to get to know you better. If i seem creepy im not, dont believe evrything people say about me. Anyway, I really, really, really want to hear from you soon. (gives me his email) You have the best picture here and you are the best looking woman Ive seen. - needy_gabe

I don't know you, what are people saying about you and how would I know about it? Are you in the papers or on the news? A registered sex offender? Also, he may want to consider a name change...I don't think "needy_gabe" is the image you want to project about yourself if you are hoping for success. Online dating is a challenging weed garden as is.

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hola , como se' Poopi tre' El burro! Bibliotecha En Rojo, Siempre Ben Rogers
Ur Purrrtyy

Um...what? Google translate gave me "hello, as 'Poopi between' The donkey! Bibliotecha In Red, Always Ben Rogers". I can't say that sounds very appealing. Are you trying to say I'm "purrrtyy" as donkey shit?
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Hi Apr 21

I must admit I've always had a thing for red heads, but you'd be beautiful if you had no hair at all.

Well, if I ever get skin cancer and my hair all falls out, I guess I won't need to worry! :) What a relief. Still, an original pick up line, and one that made me laugh.
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hello Jan 30

come here often

Not a bar, dude.
_________________
hmm Jan 20, 2010 – 5:06pm

uh oh... cute red head :X lol

Ha...no.
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yummie Jan 2, 2010 – 6:39am

you are one fine looking woman!!

Best In Show. "That's one fine lookin' animal!"
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Do you Fancy fine german dinner ware? I don't Nov 26

I'm an X heroin addict. Wanna pretend like we could be friends?

No words.
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hi Nov 3

Are you seeing someone? Reeeallly? :P

If I were really using this site to meet people my answer would have been something like "No, I'm not. I just put that because I thought it might attract the better guys...not."
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You seem to be different then most of the girls I have talked to. Are you really that different?

You tell me.
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Your eyes are kinda likable

You have already said whats your name, any nickname?

Kinda likeable. How kinda kind of you. And if I had a nickname, which I don't, I wouldn't give it to this guy.
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hi how are you? omg you are so beautiful!!!
your very very beautiful!!! lol
please write me back! i have red your profile its very interesting, i wish there was a little more about you though. i hope that we can talk, so please write back. thank you. i know this was short i didnt know what else to say i was shocked by how pretty you are. im sorry, i am very interested, and i also really like your profile, your so pretty!! lol and also im a drummer so im very very active. im also will willing to meet you also lol :) please write me back i have pics also, the reason why i dont put a pic up, because you never know lol:)

This translates as a hyper young dog eager and "very interested" to hump any female in sight that is remotely attractive and stands still long enough. Overkill.
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hey you are gorgeous. we def need to talk and hang out

Translate: I definitely want to have sex with you and not talk at all.
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hey i just saw your profile and my jaw hit the floor. you have got to be one of the most beutiful redheads ive ever seen. and i see that you have a boyfriend but i couldent help but say somthing, you are that amazing. i apologize for comming off so forward but u are the first woman on here how has genuinly "caught my eye" so get back to me if you would like to chat some time

Do you always hit on women with boyfriends just because they "catch your eye"? Classy.
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You win gold for worlds longest profile! I love it! Marry Me :)

Marriage proposal numero trois.
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you truly are gorgeous, would you be interested in a physical relationship?

Seriously?

How To: Avoid a Plague

I think I may have discovered a way to keep from getting sick. You know that nasty flu bug that was going around? The one that was a cross between a cold, the flu, and alcohol poisoning? Well, I've been lucky enough not to catch it...yet. *Knocks on wood* (Superstitioooon...)

I'm beginning to credit it to a new practice I adopted when all the people around me were falling like flies. Not to mention, my paranoia was tripled because of the fact that I work as a secretary at a church that also has a daycare business. So I'm in contact with little germ hotels wearing snow boots.

Anyway. After being sick two months in a row, I was determined that if I was going to go down a third time with the worst bug yet, I would go down swinging.

I don't consider myself to be an unhealthy eater, but I'm not an obsessively healthy one either. I follow the usual rules: don't drink soda (I'm lucky enough not to like it very much anyway), don't eat fried food (except for weekends), no fast food (except for McDonald's breakfast runs for a strawberry-banana smoothie and fruit&maple oatmeal), and curb sweet tooth cravings with the Extra Dessert Delights gum flavors (my favorites are Key Lime Pie, Mint Chip Ice Cream, and the new Lemon Square). I am a lover of carbs over sweets, so things like pasta, pop-tarts, baguettes, and more pasta make my mouth water over things like chocolate, brownies, and ice cream (though ice cream sometimes wins out). And its definitely been more of a challenge to avoid living off Lean Cuisine box dinners and Campbell's drinkable soups since I moved out again in January (this time, successfully and by myself with only my cat for company. Thank God.). My mother will admit herself that she is not that great of a cook (her strong suits are chili, homemade tomato soup, enchiladas, and corn bread) and doesn't really enjoy it. So the only home maker skills I ever inherited were how to boil water for noodles, scramble an egg and make a sandwich (the essentials for living). On a side note, sewing lessons ended after I learned to sew on a button, do the over-under stitch and a whip stitch. I was a member of a 4-H Club for many years, surprisingly since 4-H is all about cooking, crafts and woodworking; all things my mother dreads and hates with a passion.

So my options for healthy eating were limited to whatever required the least amount of prep work and skill. The next time I went grocery shopping, I avoided the aisles that housed my Lean Cuisines and Poptarts and instead, hit the produce section.

Here is what I've been eating every day for the last 3 weeks or so since that nasty bug that's been sweeping the nation:

Breakfast

Whole Apple
Whole Orange
(ONE piece of fruit can be switched out for a sm/med strawberry-banana smoothie from McDonald's)
Two slices of Cottage Bread, toasted with Country butter spread, or Nutella
      OR
Fruit&Maple Oatmeal from McDonald's

Mid-Morning Snack (I have a small stomach, so I rarely need this, but there are days!)

Greek Yogurt (My favorite is the Peach flavor by Anderson Erickson AE)

Greek Yogurt is a good choice because not only is it a great source for protein, its filling.

Lunch

Turkey (or) Ham sandwich with sharp cheddar cheese slice and Lite Mayo (don't cake it on or it ceases to be light)
Glass of juice (I get pure orange juice or the combo like Pineapple Orange Banana)

Afternoon Snack

Baby carrots with Hummus
     OR
"Ants On a Log" (celery with peanut butter and raisins)
     OR
Pita chips and Hummus

Supper

Spring Salad (Spring greens mix, pineapple, mandarin oranges, fresh strawberries, a few scattered almonds and a lite raspberry vinegarette. You can use canned pineapple and mandarins, but try to find the kinds that aren't in syrup or are in light syrup)

    OR

Portioned spaghetti with sauce and a light dusting of Parmesan
Steamed veggies (get the ones in microwaveable steam bags. Super easy to make and delicious)

**** Only make as many noodles as you need for yourself for one meal. The back of the box of noodles should tell you the serving amount. If you make more thinking you'll use the rest for left overs, you are running the risk of going back for seconds or eating more than you should. Instead, binge on the veggies. They have practically no calories, so you can eat as much of them as you want until you feel full.

Desserts

Whenever I feel the need for something sweet, usually after a meal, I chew a piece of the Extra Dessert Delights gum, eat a yogurt or drink some juice. If I really want ice cream, that means I usually have to make the effort to go out and buy it since I avoid buying the things I know I shouldn't be eating. If I DO buy ice cream, I buy the small pre-portioned Weight Watchers Blue Bunny flavors so I'm not tempted to scoop out more than I should if I were to self-serve.

Going out

Obviously, its harder to eat well when you're going out to eat. If I have been following my health plan well, I usually allow myself to cheat a little. Cheating for me means going to places like Hu Hot, Panera, Longhorn Steakhouse, Famous Dave's, etc. When I go to these places, I always try to make healthier choices.

At Hu Hot, I'll load my Chinese noodles up with green beans and mushrooms and wine.
At Panera, I opt for a salad, soup or a half sandwich (my favorite is the Bacon Turkey Bravo). Don't do the Pick-Two, you will eat too much. Pick-Two options give you enough food for two people.
At Longhorn, they have my favorite spring salad (see above) with feta that is usually seasonal at Panera, but that I try to recreate on my own. Or I'll order chicken. Chicken is ALWAYS better than beef.
At Famous Dave's, I usually get the BBQ chicken, lunch size (or if I get the dinner size, I make sure to save half for lunch the next day), and for my sides, I'll get the coleslaw and maybe splurge with mashed potatoes or mac&cheese.

Sushi is also a great choice, but I usually have to be in the mood for it.

I also try to drink a cup of black coffee every day as its a great antioxidant and keeps things flowing. If I'm not feeling the black coffee, I get a small caramel latte or tea.

Anyway. This is what has worked for me to not get sick, and to also eat healthier in regards to weight. I wish I had the resources to test this out on a group of people and see if its really working, as I credit a lot of it to the apples and oranges combo every morning. But alas, all I can do is share it with you and hope that maybe it'll be of interest and help promote healthy eating for healthy living.

Ciao and Bon Appetit!

You Can't See Me, You Can't Touch Me

Why are people so against being civil with one another?

This is a question I found myself asking for the millionth time after witnessing yet another unbelievably rude exchange of cheap shots take place on a friend's Facebook status. He had posted the status, throwing out a satirical joke about a commercial centered around a type of cancer and it was, in his opinion, a weak awareness campaign that had been running the same one testimonial for many years.

Of course, someone commented, taking personal offense and replying with a negative tone that one of their parents had died of the horrible disease, "but as long as you can laugh about it..."

What ensued was someone commenting that the friend who wrote the post was not laughing, and the offended party responding with a rude response, which was met with a ruder response and it continued downhill from there in a series of cheap shots where grown adults called one another stupid and told one another to "grow up" and stop acting like "a 12 year old girl on her period".

Wow.

The best part, is that I would almost bet money that should these two people have been face-to-face, this argument never would have happened and if it had, these juvenile and destructive comments never would have been said out loud.

First of all, if you are unsure of someone's real intentions, do not jump to the immediate conclusion that they are less than honorable without even bothering to confront them privately, asking for clarification. We all have a tendency to let the little gremlin inside all of us take over and interpret the worst when we are deprived of facial expression and physical body language that are so key in providing clear communication. If you are personally offended by something someone has said on their personal page, it is now your responsibility for how you choose to respond or not respond. It IS possible to express your disagreement without adding your own destructive concoction of written words (that you probably spent a good 10-15 minutes at your day job rereading and editing so as to make your response as clever and cutting as possible) that act as a catalyst, erupting in more discourse.

You know that little saying we all heard growing up? "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." Nothing could be truer.

Facebook is just another on many social networking outlets that lends a hand in allowing people to semi-anonymously act how ever they please with seemingly no repercussions. Many people follow the idea that "if you can't see me, you can't touch me" and it won't come back to haunt them, because "Hey, this person doesn't even know me, so I'll never see them". While this is usually true, they don't take into account how what they say can not only effect the person they are directing their spew of negativity at, but also destroy any hope for a productive conversation or sharing of ideas as well as any credibility they may have once held.

Secondly, publicly calling someone out and trying to portray them as a fool is not the way to get your point across. It makes you look like an ass. And that is going to draw more attention than to the point you may have been trying to make, or personal connection, story and/or factual statistics you may have been trying to share. By the end of the thread, I found myself thinking only of the argument at hand, and not the actual topic of conversation. I was also wary about joining the conversation and asking any questions of the people who had personal connections to the disease that the lame commercial was trying to draw awareness to and what the Facebook status had been originally about, for fear of sparking more discourse or unintentional offense.

I'm not trying to tell everyone who disagrees with someone that they have to write a private message to the person who offended them. Only it would be nice if people could be more gracious with each other in their public (and even private) disagreements, and when they cannot do that, that they refrain for poisoning the rest of the world who happens upon it. Its arguments like the ones above that destroy any hope for productive conversation or shared interest. It scares other people away from joining the conversation for fear of being targeting themselves. And it makes you look like an arse and have people remember you as an arse, should you comment on something farther down the road. It may also negatively and fatally effect your friendship (whether that friendship is an actual physical thing or just a cyber reality) with the friend who's status you are polluting.

It may well be that nobody cares about this. But for some reason it really get's my goat every time and I see it in black and white, as I do with most things. When I asked my friend why people are so against being civil with one another, he responded saying simply "They're bored". And while this may be true, what a twisted and destructive form of entertainment and a sad excuse.

Maybe I'm naive. But I just don't understand how people can conduct themselves that way with no remorse or second thoughts about what they are saying or what it says about them as a person.

I tried mentioning these things on the thread, but was of course met with jeering. How characteristic and proving of my point, even in the face of logic.

And people wonder why I'm so cynical, why I believe without a doubt that the human race is inherently evil, and that World Peace is nothing but a pipe dream. For how can there be peace world wide when there cannot be peace among our own nation or those whom we brush shoulders with on the street...or call friend?

Listen...

Just when everything is going well and you couldn't be happier, life throws you a curve ball.

Its funny like that. And the outcome always rests on your inner strength, your ability to "roll with the punches", assess the situation, and find a way to survive it and come out on top. Sometimes it may feel hard to breathe, hard to feel, hard to keep your sanity; hard to believe that you can still be the happiest you've ever been, and this may actually aid in that and make that feeling greater rather than viewing it as a destroyer. And although to some, it may seem like its easier to battle these changes and experiences alone (Lord knows I try this because I don't like to burden others with my troubles, emotional dips and peaks, or to show my vulnerability), there's a sort of salvation, release and a method of self discovering/revealing that comes from confiding, but not transferring, your thoughts, emotions and feelings to someone else. Someone who can hopefully take it and understand that you don't need them to fix things. You don't need them to share your burden's weight or fight your battle or take the punch. You just need them to hold on to you. To validate what you're experiencing. To make you feel real and worth something. 

To listen. 

To believe in the silver lining and believe in you. To accept you as you are. Imperfect. Broken. But still breathing and healing and changing and growing. Just as we all are. 

We walk these streets, side by side, believing we're the only ones going through something like this, feeling this way, that no one could ever possibly know the extent of our inner demons. The shadows that lie in our pasts and haunt our present and taunt our future. But we are not alone. We are not the only ones who battle. And although we may battle different foes, we battle side by side and we are still united in our struggles. We all need a rock. A shoulder. A hand. We all need someone to believe. To believe you can weather this storm, and that you are not standing alone in it. There are those behind you and beside you, to lift you up when you start to fall, to support you and the steps you take. To love you for who you are, who you will be. To find the humanity in your shortcomings and your past transgressions, failures and wounds. 

Someone to listen. To accept. To believe. To love. And all that, combined with your own inner fire, kindled and fed by your desire to live, to succeed, to be happy, to love and be loved; the Soul, the Phoenix that burns with in, is what will get you through and what will set you free. 

What will be will be. The secret is to find the balance between holding on and letting go. And the inner peace that comes from being in that place.

Cassie Marie - Press Release

So, I had some time and decided to interview myself and write my own press release. :) This is what I imagine the first article in a local paper or magazine would say about me. Enjoy!

____________________________________

Cassie Marie (Yost) is a 23-year-old local musician, artist and thespian with a passion for creative outlets, entertainment, nature and animals. In addition to singing and playing the piano since the tender age of five, Yost has taught herself to play the ukulele over the last 2 years, can play a little guitar and is now taking professional vocal training. She writes her own music and lyrics, but enjoys covering songs by her favorite artists who have inspired her over the years and fueled her determination to be successful at doing what she loves. In the meantime, she works two part-time jobs at a local bookstore and as a church secretary and manages her own business as an Independent Beauty Consultant for Mary Kay Cosmetics.

“I have to pay for my music until my music pays for me.” She says with a smile.

In October of 2012, Cassie self-produced her first Single “Halfway Without You” and coordinated a successful Single Release Concert at Lampost Theater in Cedar Falls. The night was themed: It was her first concert, selling her first CD of the first song she ever wrote.

“I couldn’t have done it without a little (a lot) of help from my friends.” She says gratefully with a laugh. “I was on a high that night, my thoughts were running at a mile a minute. Everything was up to me to decide and I can be really indecisive. We made it through the show, which is still kind of a blur, and afterwards I was frantic, thinking ‘I don’t have enough hands to do everything!’. Then I looked around and noticed that friends of mine were tearing down set, had set up and were running my merch table and handling sales without even being asked. It was incredible. It allowed me to really relax and talk to everyone who wanted to talk to me after the show and sign CDs. I was really emotional about it. And then on top of that, there was everyone who came out to see me play. Friends, friends of friends…my family wasn’t able to make it because of a cousin’s wedding that I'd had to miss the reception for since it was on the same day. My parents sent a couple that are some really good friends of ours and like a second set of parents to me. They are huge supporters of me, and showed up with a bouquet of daisies (my favorite flower) from my mom before the show started. I almost lost control of my emotions, but it made me play that much better. It’s just a constant reminder of the incredible support I have and all the friends and family who genuinely care about me. I'd be 'halfway without you" all! Okay, cheesy, but its the truth.”

The song, “Halfway Without You” has been a hit with friends and local music appreciators who have heard Yost play. Her single is a limited edition copy with original artwork and photographs, and sells for $5 each. The money she earns from her music, as well as any donations that she collects in a silver piggy bank put out on her merch table during shows, goes toward making and self-producing her first official record at that she hopes to record at Catamount and release this year with a total of ten original songs on it.

Her next show will take place at Red Cedar Books, 220 East 4^th Street in Waterloo, next to Cottonwood Canyon on February 28^th from 8-9:30pm. Should the show be cancelled due to weather conditions, it will be rescheduled for the following Thursday.

“The bookstore is owned by a friend of mine, and its nice and cozy; exactly the kind of laid back feel I want the evening to have.” Says Yost.

Cassie will be selling copies of “Halfway Without You”, and will be available for signing and chatting during a 15-minute break and after the show.